Saturday, April 18, 2009

No Control.....

I have come to discover over the past few months that I like to be in control of situations. I don't like surprises and I like things to go my way. I get very frustrated when things don't go as I plan. My goal is to work on this and relax and try to go with the flow of life more than trying to control things I can't.
My life has not been what I planned it to be. I thought it was going to be different somehow and I would be living differently then I am now. I never thought I would go on a mission, get married at 28, have a 16 month old and be pregnant again, have my husband still be in school, graduated in Rec. Management, etc. But I am so grateful that a Heavenly Father knows me better than I know my self and my life has gone better than I planned. I have a great husband that I am so glad I waited to marry, I had 10 years of singleness to learn and grow and have memorable adventures meeting my best friends to this day and going on a mission that I will never regret for many many many reasons. I just have to let Heavenly Father stir me in the direction he wants to stir me in for the next 10 years and trust in him cause I will learn and grow the most if I let him be in control and not me!
As Mack grows older I have to remember the part of the plan called free agency. Being the controlling person I am I sometimes don't like that part of the plan. I see some of my family members and Rock's family members make very stupid decisions about boyfriends, jobs, drugs, life in general. I wish they could stop going off of "feelings" that don't last and start using their HEADS!!! Step back and see what we are seeing. The best advice I ever got while dating was to ask others what they think of the person I was dating and what they see that I may miss while being caught up in emotions. That advice lead me to a man who honors his priesthood, treats me like a queen, lets me have time alone, is a great father to Mack, does laundry and dishes, and works hard at work and school. I am so glad I made the decision to marry him with the help of my Heavenly Father. I don't know what I would do with out his help in helping me and my family make important decisions in our lives. Glad I have an all knowing, all powerful Father who loves me and know me! I love my family and friends. I have a great family and extended family who I can't imagine life without. Thank you!
We all have different lives and how we live them is all that matters!!

4 comments:

Brimaca said...

I whole-heartedly agree! I also am glad God led me and you in the paths he did. In my ten year plan I wrote in high school I said right now my husband would be a truck driver, we'd have five kids, and I'd be a part-time secretary. I never mentioned the gospel or many of the things that make me happy today. Hallelujah that the Lord is in charge!

Tasha said...

I think life will always be different than we plan, but I agree with you that we rarely want it any other way!
By the way, Congrats on your pregnancy!! I can't wait to hear what you are having. Having two is quite a challenge, but it is wonderful too!
The always say that they hardest things are the most worthwhile, right?!

Mary said...

"All I ever wanted, all I ever dreamed of. Everything I hoped, and all the things I prayed for. Couldn't hold a candle to what I've been givin. I've been given what I need." I don't know if you've heard this song by Michael McLean but I'm dedicating it to you. I love you girl! I need your address please!

Danielle said...

I totally agree with you. Some of the things that happened in my life that I would not have chosen, ended up being the biggest blessings! Thanks for the reminder that God is in control and we just need to be more trusting! You are awesome!!