1. Why do I worry so much what others think about me and what I say? Why can't I just be my self and say and act the way that comes naturally to me. Say what comes to my head to people. It may come to my head because maybe that person needs to hear what I have to say. I guess it is because lately I have come into contact with people who get offended really easily. So I will say what is coming to my head right now to these people...GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON WITH LIFE. I am saying that to myself to. WHO CARES WHAT OTHERS THINK GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON...you are doing the best you can, you know it and God knows it that is all that matters.
2. I guess that just answers my second thought....breast milk. Mine is gone. No matter what I have done it is gone. One day I had some and the next I didn't. Happened to my mom. Some have judged me and think I am crazy that I don't have milk and that I just don't want to breast milk and that if I worked harder at it I would still have some. Well after money spent on herbals, pumping after every feeding even when I have no milk, drinking lots of water, etc, etc. I have done all I can. I want what is best for my baby and I am so thankful for formula or my baby would starve! Okay so another thought came into my head...STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHER WOMEN.
3. Why do we as women compare ourselves to others. I am starting to see that we waste a lot of time and energy comparing our looks, our skills, and our talents with others. I will never have a neatly styling home like some women....because I can't afford it and I don't have an eye for what looks good together in a room and I hate making crafts. But I can play a mean game of softball. So I can't breast feed my baby until they are 1. I hope my babies know that I still love them and I want what is best for them. I believe in taking care of our bodies by eating right and exercising but I will never be a size 4 or even a 6 and a size 8 is pushing it for me. But I am healthy, I do exercise and I eat healthy 80 % of the time. So just because I am not a size 2 does not mean I am unhealthy and lazy so stop judging and comparing me!
Advice to self on this comparing...STOP COMPARING MY KIDS. Mack was a great sleeper at 3 months, Gunnar not so much. Mack is very active...his cousin is not. Just enjoy my kids while I can because before I know it they won't be around much.
4. Why do I feel like a maid all the time. Why do I feel like my efforts of the day are not appreciated like I think it should be. Why do I put so much time and effort into cleaning when no one comes and visit me. Well I will tell you why because to keep my sanity I need a clean organized home. It helps me think clearly and I don't feel anxious. I probably do spend more time then I should so I am going to get my cleaning done first thing in the morning so I have more time playing. I want my kids to think of me as a fun mom not a mom with a broom always in her hand.
5. STOP NAGGING.....my husband is great but I have expectations for him that I need to re-think. Look more on the positives and less on the negatives. Talk about the important things that can change and let the little things go.
Gunnar with his new cousin McCoy!
6 comments:
I hear ya...I have done all those things except the breast milk and it has never gotten me anywhere. I'm here for you. sorry your milk dried up so fast:(
Shanie I think we've all gone (and are going) through this process. It's part of life. I've thought all these same things (except I need to clean more not less). And just now am I getting over the whole judging thing. I've really struggled since we moved here with feeling judged. I finally realized it is me and if they are judging they probably do so for two seconds and move on with their lives. And if I don't judge others, they are less likely to judge me. It really doesn't matter what others think. But it does take time for us to learn it. Once a motivation speaker (at a church meeting) said, "If my kids are alive at the end of the day I feel successful, if they are fed that's a bonus." AMEN!
Shanie, you are anamazing mom and I know that your kids know that you love them. I watch how good you are with them and how concerned you are for them and it makes me gratful to have freinds that I can look up to. I have loved getting to know you and spending time having fun together. Thanks for all that you do for me.
I am there with you! I just left a post very similar on my blog a week ago. I think it is just plain hard to be a mom! But you are doing an amazing job. This is the hardest job you will ever have (way harder than the mish) and is unfortunately not recognized by the world. :) But hang in there. We are certainly in this together! Something I always try to think of is the quote 'death by comparison.' It only makes you miserable. Now I just need to be better at living that! BTW, I love the pic of your boys in the their byu hats!
Shanie, it's nice to be able to express some of this stuff written down when you feel like you can say all that you want to say and it won't be misheard. I agree with it all. I struggled SO bad with the breastfeeding with Chloe. SO bad. I stuck through major pain and infection etc just to what...torture myself and i'm not really sure why except for just like you said, I felt like I was being judged. In the end it all worked out but I totally know what you mean. It's so good that you mentioned that it's only what God think that matters because that is really all that DOES matter, huh? Did you get my email about this summer?
Amen sista!! I feel the same way on all that you said. I am so struggling in my ward right now because I feel like I dress too frumpy, have a strange personality, have a shy husband, etc. etc. I tell myself all the time, "Who cares what these punks think!" :) It's hard not to care though, it must be a girl thing. You are awesome just the way you are. I laughed when you said you don't want your kids to think of you with a broom in your hand- I feel the same way. I can't not have a clean house, even though no one ever comes over. It is for my sanity. So, I have tried to make a game of it. I have my kids thinking that cleaning and organizing is fun and it is something we can do together.
That has got to be frusterating with the breastmilk thing. I don't know what to tell you, except that I think it is pretty normal. In fact most of the people I know have not been able to breast feed. I have a friend who has 4 kids and has never had her milk come in. People think I'm a freak because I was a milk cow, so it's just all what you are used to, I guess. I think you are more "normal" than you think though. Good luck with everything. Let's play soon, when all of my kid's diseases go away! Seriously, I am wishing for 1 whole week of health! Urgggg
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