Ever had one of those weeks...

Ever had one of those weeks where you are ready to just run away for a few days. I am grateful these week only come once in a while but when they do man they hit you hard....at least for me they do. You try so hard to be grateful for what you have but with all that has been thrown at you, you just can't seem to find things to be grateful for.

Maybe next week my blog post will be all that I am grateful for.

Work for both Rock and I has been crazy. I work at night doing Jr. Jazz so that I don't have to pay a babysitter as we are trying to save money. I have worked it out that my kids can go to my work daycare for 2 hours free and then Rock would come and pick them up after work. Well, that has not worked out at all. I can't take the kids if they are sick which they have been the majority of the time and Rock's work has schedule changes so often it is hard to know if he will be off in time to pick up the kids after 2 hours. If he isn't I am at work and I have to find someone to watch them until he gets off. So I get a babysitter so I don't have to stress about whether he will be there in time or not.

He is now working in Ogden, leaving home at 5:15 am only to get home at 8:00 pm. He basically has no idea when he is getting off. They work until the boss says it is time to go. So that leaves me in a panic and not able to be the planner and organizer I like to be. He might be working 7 days a week for 10 hours with 3 hours of travel time. I can't do this by myself. Take care of everything by myself. I really don't know how single parents do it. This stress is putting me on edge and things are coming across more harsh to others then I intend them to be. The crew at work, my husband, my kids, my family all get yelled at for no reason.

Mack is now back to wetting and pooping in his pants. He refused to go to the bathroom. Sometimes I feel I am not letting him be the boy he needs to be and get out his energy with me screaming at him all the time. I need to let some things go. I am so worried how he is acting around other adults and kids and in public that it stresses me out more. He really can be a good boy and I have to stop focusing on the bad.

Gunnar just screams all day long and I just don't know what to do to make him stop. For my insanity it had better stop soon.

Efforts to try and get this foundation up and running has come to a halt as things are not going as plan...just my patients which I have none talking. It is just discouraging when you are trying to help someone who may need help only to get rejected of your efforts.

I have to stop comparing myself to others and comparing my kids to others. Easier said then done, but I have to keep reminding myself I am doing the best I can and others can think what they want. They don't know what all is going on in my life so who are they to judge me and I have no right to judge them.

Well, here is to next week and hopefully a better one!