I will probably never be rich. I think one of my trials in life is to try and provide for my family with the money my husband makes and that is it. I think Heavenly Father knew this trials would test my faith. I hate having to budget so carefully each paycheck and wonder if we will ever have enough to save money in case of an emergency or if we will ever be completely out of debt for longer than a few months. I hate the feeling of struggling for every penny we make...working our butts off to the greed of other people. I will never have enough money to give away...to help find and organize a non profit organization to help those in need. I will never be able to take my kids to travel around the world so they could experience new cultures and foods.
My dreams as a girl not coming true and coming to the harsh reality that this is my life. I am a stay at home mom, with my husband trying to make ends meet to put food on our table and pay our bills on time. That I will never fully be out of debt no matter how hard I try. That having another child is out of the question since we can barley afford to provide for the three we have now. I am all about having faith that the Lord will provide if we are doing what is right, but I also believe in being smart enough to know that when you can't afford the kids you have now why would you add another to put you on welfare.
I have to confess I do get jealous of those with money out making a difference in the world and wonder why I can't do that. Why is my difference only in the walls of my home? Why with all my heart do I long to stay at home with my kids and that is just not happening for my family.
I guess others have the trials of having money and if they will remain humble and faith and not puffed up in pride.
How can I be content, truly content with what I have and let go of this huge desire in my heart to make a difference in the world, to be busy doing good?
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