Monday, April 13, 2015

October 2014

Recap of October 2014
Jamie came to Utah and spent the night graciously offering to watch my boys so Rock and I could go overnight for our anniversary.  Because of Rock's work schedule working Thursday - Saturday nights (3:30 pm-4:30am) we had to go on Monday the 13-Tuesday 14.  We left Monday afternoon around 3pm and our first top was Scheels sporting good store.  Bought Gunnar a new baseball mitt.  Then we went and visited with Brent and Mary and to see their new baby Tomasi.  He was born on Oct. 7th and I am so thrille? for them.  After 8 long years and tragedy of losing one of the twins he is here, healthy and making Mary and Brent so happy!!  We then ate at Rock's favorite restaurant David's Kitchen and then off to Park City for the night.  It was so nice to sleep in and have a peaceful night with no interruptions.   The next day we shopped a little, watched the movie "Meet the Mormon's" and then back home.  I love it when my kids are happy to see me.  They had a blast with Nana carving pumpkins, going on walks, pick out toys at the Dollar Store and eating candy.  That night we all went to Drigg's and Kai's football games.
Gunnar's birthday was the next day (15th) and he is turning 5 years old which I can't believe.  He wanted to go bowling so we took his friend Tege with us and went bowling.  He said it was the best day ever!!
Fall Break was the 16th-20th and I was worried about the kids being home all day for 5 straight days. Saturday we hiked up Battle Creek trail in PG with my mom, Kyson, Jex and McCoy.  It was beautiful.  Friday night we went swimming at the Legacy Center.
Monday the 20th we had a family party for Gunnar.  Skeet and his Fam, Katye, Cally and Steve fam all came over and he got lots of new clothes.  He pick out a battle ship cake from Walmart and ice cream.
I can't believe Gunnar is now 5 years old.  He has a very tender heart but at the same time can be so stubborn.  We recently signed him up for wrestling and he has pratice every Tuesday and Thursday nights.  He loves it and will have his first tournament on Sat. Nov. 15th.  He is very excited!! While Gunnar does wrestling Mack is playing Jr. Jazz basketball in Lehi.  He has practices and games Saturday mornings.  He loves to play.  But I think the most favorite thing he loves to do is play with his friend Tege.  Tege, Mack and Gunnar play for hours after school.  Mack still amazes me with hi learning of Chinese in school.
Rock has been blessed with lots of overtime hours and has had a couple concrete jobs on the side which has been a huge help for us financially.  He is very hard worker and does concrete really well.   I think or am hoping in the future that he will be able to have his own business in concrete someday.
That may be wishful thinking as these days I have lost my gusto for being hopeful.
Rock did get hired on at Mega Diamond on Oct. 28th and got a dollar raise.  That same day I got in a car accident at 1200 West and 800 North in Orem.  I ran a red light and hit a truck turning left while I was going straight to get onto the highway.  I car was totaled.  I sat in the car after it happened in complete shock bleeding and listening to my kids cry.  I didn't know what to do.  I just sat there shocked and confused.  I have never been in an accident before.  It scared me but I was so thankful that my kids were okay.  There was so many nice people who helped us out and game cookies to my kids and the paramedics gave Gunnar and Hudson some cute bears.  A lady called Rock and he came and took care of all the insurance stuff for me.  I am so grateful for him.  So began our search for a new car.  I loved my car and did not want another car.  That car was paid for.  Skeet and Heather let us borrow their Malibu for a couple of weeks until we found something.  I will get to our already car troubles in a minute.  Dealing with the insurance company has been okay and we got more money then we thought.  But it was a long process to get our money to look for a new car.  We have never had to deal with this before.
Halloween was fun.  Hudson was a green monster, Gunnar a Wolverine, and Mack a transformer.  Mack has his Halloween parade at school at 945 am and then off to see Gunnar's Preschool program at 1115.  I had to haul the Kellems kids who I tend on Monday and Friday mornings to both programs.  Not easy with no car.  We started trick or treating around 530 with Tege and Audrey from the neighborhood and Melisa.
Around 8:30 pm Halloween night we headed up to Sundance to stay at Heather's friends cabin for a couple of nights.  /The cabin was so nice.  We didn't get there until after 9pm so we set up beds, watched a movie and went to bed.  Saturday morning I ran to Lehi with Mack to watch his Jr. Jazz game.  Came back to the cabin and we headed outside for an hour.  Then the weather turned rainy and cold.  It rained hard and a few times started to snow.  Luckily Halloween the weather was sunny and warm.  We stayed in the cabin and played games.  Heather and Skeets friends the Chrismans and Amy and Chuck and their kids came also and Heathers sister Holli who has cancer and Heathers mom.  Sunday we woke up cleaned up and headed home to church.  It was a fun weekend.
Thursday Nov 6th we purchased our new car.  A 2011 GMC Acadia.  It is nice with lots of room.  I am a little nervous about having a car payment now.  AAHH.  Well as fate would have it our car broke down as I was taking Mack to school Tuesday morning.  So now it has been in the shop for a week an a half needed to get a new engine.  Oh the joys of cars, buying a car, and getting it fixed.
Saturday Nov. 8th we celebrated my Grandma Backus' 80th birthday.  The boys and I rode with Katye down to Spring City to have dinner and hang with family and celebrate 80 years and share memories.
Cookie Jar
Wendy's for our birthday
raking the living room
$2 for Christmas
gritting our teeth
dresses for Christmas

Some of my memories.  She sure doesn't look or act 80 years old.  I hope I age like her.
Gunnar has his first wrestling tournament on Nov 15th at Orem High School.  He did great winning 2 out of 3 matches.
My dad came this week Nov18, 19, 20th to help us paint our entry way.  It is nice.  It is a lot of work and time to get this house nice and repairs fixed.

March...What a month!

So many emotions have been felt in this month coupled with so many wonderful and yet unexpected experiences.  As I write this blog post I feel very blessed by all the miracles and blessing we have received from ward members and family members and our Heavenly Father and yet I feel very overwhelmed and defeated in my life.  As I look at my life through natural eyes or the eyes of the world I feel as though no matter how hard my husband and I have tried we are just not accomplishing our hopes and dreams...maybe our hopes and dreams are based solely on worldly things and the fact that we lack in that area...we have been missing the spiritual wealth we are gaining through these challenges.  I hope in the future and when I leave this life I will be a millionaire when it comes to the spiritual blessing I have earned and searched for.  My hopes and dreams will be realized in the blessing of a forever family, an eternal companion who I can share eternal life with, and a strong testimony that I will never deny.  My hope is to one day look at trials and be thankful for them because of the things I get to learn from them.  I guess due to natural man tendencies that is harder to do than say.
March 3, 4, 5 we took the kids out of school and decided to take a family vacation to....Salt Lake City!!  It funny to think as parents we feel we are lacking when we can't afford to take our kids to Disneyland or Hawaii and the boys just loved to stay in a hotel and swim.  Swim in a hotel with no toys or slides was the greatest thing ever.  Getting to jump in and have dad catch them was awesome.  We visited Discovery Gateway the boys loved and spent the whole day there, and our last adventure was to Temple Square and watching the Restoration movie.  I felt so content and so happy with my little family.  I love my boys and husband, a husband who plays and enjoys being with my boys!
A family vacation that was so simple in planning, not far from home but wonderful to be with those I love and get away from the mundane things of life and have fun together.
On Monday March 9th I was visiting my Great Grandma Maxfield in her assistant living home with my Grandma and Grandpa Carter and my aunt Josette.  She had a massive stroke the Friday before I was expected to die soon.  I came to say goodbye and while I was there she passed away.  I got to experience my great grandma pass on to the other side.  It was a very spiritual experience and hard to explain all I felt at that moment but I will never forget it.  Her funeral was Saturday the 14th of March and it was short and sweet with two musical numbers, my mom giving her life sketch and her branch president giving a few words.  I saw lots of family members we have not seen in a while.  Growing up we had such good times but because of hard feeling over materialist things that does not happen anymore.  Sad to think the things of this world get in the way of family relationships.  I love to be with family.
Thursday March 19th Rock was told that he was getting laid off.  Here we go again, trying to find another job like we had been for the past two years.  When he told me I was upset but no as upset as I had the other two times he had been laid off.  I felt peace and I recognized that peace that we would be okay.  In fact it was so nice to have Rock home for the weekend and that not had happened much since May of 2014.
My feelings of defeat come in the fact that we have worked hard in trying to provide for our family.  We have sacrificed the finer things in life to try and stay out of debt and for me to stay home with my kids.  So that I can teach them and nurture them.  Yet as we have tried to do this it has not worked out for us.  It has been a struggle for us to find a job that can provided for our kids, pay off debt, and put some in savings and build a food storage.  A job that we can keep, that I can stay home.  This is were my feeling of defeat come in.  My feelings of hopes and dreams are not coming true.  It is not like I am asking for a million dollars.  Again we are being taken care of just not in the way I think we should be.  We don't have a new home, a fancy house with new furniture, but we have never gone hungry and we have two vehicles and a roof over our heads.  My husband keeps reminding me that we are blessed.  Our kids are not sick and we have not gone hungry.  It is me comparing myself to others, mainly to other family members.  Your right I do not know their struggles.
Wednesday March 25, 2015 I got a call at about 7:50 am from Rock..well it was not Rock it was the hospital calling to tell me Rock had an accident.  He fell 20 feet at work and was at the Emergency Room at Utah Valley Regional Medical Center in Provo.  She said Rock had been in an accident.  My first thought was a car accident until she explained he had fallen at work.  I had just gotten out of the shower and was getting ready for a busy day.  I keep thinking about that phone call.  So unexpected and so life changing in a sense.  My neighbor Charitee Davies came to sit with Gunnar and Hudson until my mom could come over from work.  I rushed to the emergency room and found him there.  He had to ride in an ambulance.  He broke both shoulder blades, ribs and fractures along his spine.  He is so blessed that he did not hit his head, break his legs, broke his neck, etc. I got to the emergency room around 8:15 am.  Shortly after Bishop Warner who Rock was working for came and Rock's dad came shortly after that.  Cally watched my kids as I spent the day at the hospital.  Rock was moved to Neuro-Shock ICU around 10 am and spent the night there.  Dan Davies, Skeet, Heather, came to visit him in ICU.  Thursday I stayed at hospital until 10pm and then went home to sleep.  I remember waking up the next morning knowing something was wrong but not quite knowing what.  I was wondering why my kids were not home and then it dawned on me that Rock was in the hospital.  Thursday I taught a seminary class and thought it went great.  Tuesday March 31st I found out the quest for becoming a seminary teacher will not be happening for me.  I just don't understand.  I guess I did not have to best of intentions on teaching though I thought I did.  I love being with the youth and have always wanted to work again in CES.  I have had faith since quitting to have Mack that someday I would work with youth again.  I just don't understand what the Lord wants me to accomplish or become.  I cried and was really struggling that Tuesday March 31st.  Wondering what we are going to do to provide for our kids and pay our bills etc.  We have been blessed.  Rock's Grandpa Twitchell gave us some money and told us we didn't need to pay rent for a couple of months.  Gunnar's preschool teacher said we don't have to pay for preschool for April and May.  The ward brought in dinner for us for a full week and then some so that has been a huge blessing.  Rock had lots of visitors at the hospital mostly skeet, his dad, my mom, sisters, ward members, his Grandpa and Mary.
Thursday March 26th Rock moved up to the 4th floor so the boys could come and see him.  Mack was having a hard time and would cry at school but as soon as he saw his dad was okay he was fine.  It was hard to juggle being at the hospital and be home with my boys.  Rock came home on Saturday morning March 28th.  He didn't get much rest in the hospital and it was nice to have him home. But keeping the boys quiet and letting dad know that he was Broke Down.  I feel very blessed through this experience with wonderful friends and family and ward members helping us and yet I feel very defeated in quest of providing for our family.  Monday March 30th Jamie-rock's mom came and spent a few days with us helping with Rock and the boys.  I had to work Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday nights to help bring  in some money.  She was a great help!  I was sad to see her go.  I really appreciated her help.
So this month has been a rollercoaster of emotions and events.   Contentment on a family vacation, spiritual experience and yet sad at my Great Grandma's funeral, Rock's accident, to no opportunity to become a seminary teacher to wondering how we are going to provide for our family to being blessed.  See what April will bring.

Monday, November 17, 2014

Mack's journal from summer of 2011 (3 years old)

June 11, 2011
Orem Summerfest
Went to my mom's 15th high school graduation reunion at Wines Park in Lehi.  We had a picnic and played games.
Then I went to the Summerfest carnival with my mom while Gunnar stayed home with dad to nap.  I rode 8 rides.  At 7pm I went to the parade with my dad and Gunnar and my mom.  We sat by my friend Preston Ethridge and his family.  I was too tired to stay up and watch the fireworks.  My favorite part of the parade was the police on motorcycles.

Saturday June 18, 2011
Went with Grandma Gillman and Lyndee to the Strawberry Day parade.  Later that day I wen tiwht my mon to a park where she saw the families she grew up with in American Fork.  It was an old neighborhood party at Lions Park where she use to play t-ball as a kid.

Sunday June 19, 2011
Father's Day
My mom spoke in sacrament meeting today and Grandma and Lyndee cam to our church to help my dad watch me.  I gave my dad a Braves jersey.  Later that day we went to Papa Carter's for a BBQ and home made ice cream!

Thursday June 23, 2011
Today was my first dentist visit.  Dr. Gordon in Lehi counted my teeth and took some x-rays.  I have no cavities.  I was a big boy.  I went with Jex and Dykell.

Wednesday June 22, 2011
Today was Grandma Day. We went on a hike to Timp Cave up American Fork Canyon.  I had to pee really bad in the cave so grandma told me to pee in a water bottle.  Grandma gave me a piggy back ride when we came down the mountain.
Gunnar went to our weekly play group swimming and a BBQ at the Leishman's.

Saturday June 25, 2011
Went to another parade today  It was in Lehi for round-up days.  Got lots of Candy.

Sunday June 26, 2011
Got to spend the night at my cousins Kai, Driggs and Gus house.  I was so excited to see them.  They came over to my house for ice cream and then took me to their house to sleep over.

Monday June 27, 2011
This week my Dad is out of town until Friday working in Burley Idaho.  Today I went to the splash park with Spanish Fork with Kai, Driggs and Gus. Later I went over to my Grandma's and then to Hunter's baseball game.

Wednesday June 29, 2011
For playgroup we went to the splash park in Highland, Utah.  Gunnar was whinny but we played for about 2 hours.  Came home and Jex was over to play.  We played baseball.  I then went with my mom to young women's at the church and played basketball with John Lisonbee.

Thursday June 30, 2011
Tonight I went to Preston's house for dinner of homemade pizza and then when to  my mom's church softball game.  While my mom was playing Gunnar cried.

Friday July 1, 2011
My dad comes home today.  This morning went on a bike ride with mom and Gunnar and then to the park.

Saturday July 2-4, 2011
Went camping at Bear River Utah.  I loved it.  My favorite part was riding the four wheeler.  On Saturday I fell of the four wheeler while riding with my grandma and got all muddy.  My family slept in a tent and I slept really good.  Everyday I got dirty.  Gunnar just followed Huny (Hunter) around.  On Saturday morning early the 2nd of July I went with mom and dad and Gunnar to the hot air balloon festival in Provo I loved watching the huge balloons go up in the air.

Wednesday July 6, 2011
My dad left to work in Idaho again.  I will not get to see him for a week I will miss him.

Friday July 8-Sat 9, 2011
Got to spend these two days with Grandma and Papa Gillman.  We went to Great Grandma Backus' to do hay.  I also got to ride papa's horse.

Monday July 11, 2011
Tonight mom, Gunnar and I went with the Jones Family to play miniature golf for FHE at Trafalga in Orem.  Gunnar had to go home with mom early because he kept taking everyone's balls and swinging the golf club like a bat.  I got to stay and play.  This week mom has to work at Youth Camp at the Legacy Center so Shelbie is tending us.  My dad is still working in Idaho.

Wed. July 20, 2011
Nana was visiting from Idaho so we went up Provo Canyon to roast hot dogs and play ultimate freesbie with Kai, Driggs, Gus, and Korben.

Sat. July 23, 2011
BBQ at our house with Skeet's Family and Uncle Joey and Charlie.  We all then went to an Owlz game with fireworks.

Saturday July 24, 2011
Pioneer Day and we celebrated with a BBQ at Papa Carter's with my favorite homemade ice cream and with my mom's side of the family.

Monday July 24, 2011
Had another BBQ with some of my mom's missionary companions.  I played with a new friend Malachi.  He lives in Texas.  His mom is Brittany Sweat Osborn and was Sister Sweat.  Sister Miles also came to the BBQ.

Tuesday July 26, 2011-Saturday July 30, 2011
My mom was at Girl's Camp this week so I got to spent a few nights at my Grandma's house.  We surprised my mom by carpeting our stairs and our room.  She loved it and was so surprised.

August 3, 2011
Went to my best buds Preston's pirate birthday party.  Korben has been spending a couple nights at our house so he came with us to the party.  I like when he comes to play.

Monday August 15, 2011
Gunnar, my mome and I go on a walk almost every morning.  We then go to a park to play.  That's what we di this morning.  After our naps we went to the swimming poll at the Legacy Center.  It was fun.

August 16, 2011
Today's weather is hot and sunny but last night we had a huge thunderstorm while I was sleeping.  Today we went to Cedar Hills to a park for a walk and then we played at the park.

Wednesday August 17, 2011
Today I went to Highland Splash Park at 10 am with my cousins Dykell and Jex.  I loved this place and asked my mom if we could go back there again some day.

Friday August 26, 2011
Tonight I went crawdad fishing with my uncle Skeety, his boys, and my mom and dad.  We went to Strawberry lake and on our way we we ended up with a flat tire.  We fished from 7:30-9:00 and we built a fire and cooked the crawdads.  I got home at 11pm.  I had a great time.

Tuesday August 30, 2011
Today was my first day of preschool.  I go to Bright Star Preschool.  My teacher is Mrs. Kelley and she lives just two doors away from our house.  When my mom asked what I learned I tell her I don't know.  I feel so big when I go to Preschool. I get to go on Tues and Thurs from 9:30-11:45 am.  Gunnar and my mom go on walks and clean the house while I am at preschool.

Friday Sept. 2, 2011
Today I got a haircut along with my dad and Gunnar.  We shaved Gunnar's hair today.

Saturday Sept. 3, 2011
Today was Drigg's baptism.  I got to go at 9am and see him get baptized and confirmed.  Afterwards we went to his house and had a luau.  I got to spend time with lots of family.  Nana and Pap with Braden and Korben who live in Idaho.  It was a great day.

Monday Sept. 5, 2011
Today was Labor Day.  My mom, dad and Gunnar and I hiked up to Stewart's Fall in Sundance.  I did so good hiking all the way up and back to the big waterfall.  Mom told me I was a great hiker.

Wed. Sept 7, 2011
My mom is working at the Legacy Center on Wednesday nights.  Gunnar and I get to go to the day care there.  I like the day care.  Dad comes and picks us up.

Tuesday Sept 27, 2011
Today I got to spend the day with Papa Gillman.  I helped him fix his wheel barrow, went to Cabela's and rode the four wheeler.

Friday Sept. 30, 2011
Tonight I went with dad and mom to the BYU vs. Utah State football game.  I was cheering for BYU with my dad while mom was cheering for Utah State because that is where she went to college.  We sat up really high Mom bought me some popcorn.

Sat. Oct. 1, 2011
General Conference Weekend.  I went with my mom and Gunnar, Grandma-pa Carter, Papa and Grandma Gillman, jones family and Hunter camping up to Mt. Nebo in Nephi.  It was so pretty as the leaves are changing colors.  We went on a hike, I played the river, caught caterpillars and played football with Hunter.   I love to go camping.  I got to sleep in Grandma's trailer.  We listened to General Conference on the radio in the beautiful mtns.

Saturday October 8, 2011
Went with  my mom to watch Dykell play volleyball and Jex play flag football.  My family has been sick for the past couple of days with cough's

Wednesday Oct. 12, 2011
Went to he fire station safety fair with mom, Gunnar, and Gavin Leishman.  Got to spray the fire hose and crawl through a home full of smoke.  I also saw 3 fireman put out a huge fire.  I want to be a firefighter when I grow up.

Friday Oct. 14, 2011
My mom and dad's 5th wedding anniversary is today.  I got to go pick out a pumpkin with my preschool class.  Then later that night I got to sleep over at my Grandma Gillman's house with Gunnar.

Saturday Oct. 15, 2011
Gunnar's 2nd birthday and Grandma Day.  For grandma day we went to Jex's football game and then hiking up to Mutual Dell in AF Canyon.  We traded gifts and I brought a piggy Bank for everyone.  I love Grandma Day.
At 6:30 we had a family party for Gunnar.  I love all the presents he got especially the ambulance Lyndee got Gunnar.

Monday Oct. 17, 2011
For FHE we went and ate dinner at Grandma Gillman's and then to see the "UP" house.  It looks like the house in the movie "UP".

Tuesday Oct. 25, 2011
Today was the Primary Fall Festival Party.  We played games, went through a hanted maze and ate corn dogs.

Monday Oct 31, 2011
Halloween today.  Gunnar was a green monster and I was a tiger.  We had dinner with Kai, Driggs, and Gus and then went trick or treating around their neighborhood.  Then we came home and went to few houses around our neighborhood.  I got lots of candy.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

September 2014

I thought as my children got older and in school more I would have more time and it would be less busy around this home, but that is not the case at all.  If anything we are more busier than ever and the hours between 330 and bed time are CRAZY!!  This month has been full of projects-wood floor, canning peaches, making zucchini bread, drying apples and pears and soccer.  Yes soccer has taken over our home.  Gunnar and Mack play Saturdays and Tuesdays with practice on Thursday.  We spend Tuesday nights from 5 until 7:30 at games Thursday night from 5 to 7:30 at practice and Saturday at 10 to 11 and 1 to 2 for games.  I think the boys enjoy playing soccer.  I like to keep busy.

We started putting in a wood floor on Labor Day and the last day of September we finally have it all sanded down ready to go.  It just took us a month to find help to help us in our en devour.   So now we just need to stain it.

Gunnar got to go to Denver to visit my dad with  my mom and his cousin McCoy on Saturday the 13th.  He loved it and had a great time.  He went swimming, to the zoo, and bowling with the fish at Bass Pro shop.  What a lucky kid!

Mack's school had a cougar crawl to raise donations for the school and new equipment.  Each grade ran for 10 minutes around the track.  It was a hot day and we ate snow cones ran the race and had soccer practice.

Mary-my best friend had her baby shower on the 20th.  It was nice to see her family and eat good food.  She was pregnant with twin but lost a twin a few months ago.  It has taken her and Brent 8 years to get pregnant.  She is such an example of perverseness during trials.  She keeps the faith and remains happy and hopeful.  She is due Oct. 12th and I hope and pray this baby lives and is healthy.

The next day 21st was the Ogden Temple re-dedication.   Went over to my mom's church and went to the meeting and then had dinner with the fam.  No church services were held in Utah for the re-dedication.

Lyndee took out her endowments on Thursday the 25th and it was so cool to have all my sisters in the temple with her, along with my mom and dad.
The 28th was Tylee's blessing and again fun to be with family again.
Have had lots of rain the last week of September and the weather is turning cold!  Monday the 29th we went and drove the Alpine loop for FHE.  The leaves were beautiful.  Nice peaceful drive.
For YM/YW we had the opportunity to here from Olympic Silver Medalist Noelle Pikus-Pace and her testimony.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Labor Day/What is this world coming too?

Rock of course had to work over Labor Day weekend so I took the boys to Bear Lake to stay at my aunt Connie's cabin.  She invited my mom and dad, chub and tracy, and grandma and gary to come.  I left Friday after Mack got out of school to meet up with two of my mission companions at the Logan Temple.  Marianne Noel Lorz and Melanie Nelson Chambers.  They both have kids and are kids played at the temple for a while.  It was fun to see them again.  I haven't seen them in a long time.  The kids and I stayed at Connie's house in Logan that night with Katye and her kids.  We left for Bear Lake the next morning.  Had breakfast at the cabin, went on a bike ride that was so fun.  Fitting 7 people on a bike and then rode the one seaters.  The weather was windy and cold but we headed to the beach.  The boys loved it and Connie rented a paddle boat that the boys were having so much fun on.  Wish we could of stayed at the beach longer.  Took Mack and Gunnar to the Rodeo that night and they lasted a couple hours.  It got cold and they were so tired.  
Woke up Sunday morning and went to church and then swimming at Chub and Tracy's condo.  Left for home.  It is hard to go on vacation with little kids alone without Rock.  I am just trying to make family memories and how important spending time with family is.  
Monday we started putting a wood floor in our entry way.  It is taking longer than I thought.  We are on day three and we thought it would be done in a day.  I hate having all the stuff from the front entry in my room and living room.  It just makes it hard.  And we ended up spending a lot of money to finish it sand it and buy base boards.  So 350 dollars later hopefully we have a new floor.  We can't afford it but what can we afford.  Rock had to get a new battery for Rock's car so more money that we don't have.  I am at a loss as to how to be self sufficient, stay out of debt and keep a household running with groceries, bills paid, and trying to make a home more livable and keep up?  Maintenance on things, etc.  I am at a complete loss.  I feel I am losing my testimony and my desire to keep praying and trying.  
I also have worries about the future of this world.  I love my kids so much and I worry about the world they live in.  Our government, crime, jobs, etc.  I want to live in a bubble and not know what is going on and yet I feel I need to know to help prepare myself and my family.  

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

August Recap and start of school

Pictures of the year are put in a scrap book so this blog is my journal.  August-a busy month.  Rock is busy with work picking up hours at Mega Diamond and for the past two weeks been painting for a friend Scott Brockbank.  Last week he worked every night Monday-Saturday.  I am so grateful for a father and husband willing to work hard to provide for our family and one who never loses faith, even when working so hard and not getting a break.
Mack and Gunnar are playing soccer and start playing every Tuesday and Saturdays until the end of Sept.  So four days a week we will be at soccer, between practice and games.
On August 6th we had baby shower of Lyndee and her new baby Tylee.  On Friday-Sunday August 8th-10th we had an Ellison family reunion at Camp Shalom in Fairview Canyon-Girl's Camp.  It was so much fun.  We did a service project fixing a bridge, ate good food, took pictures and my kids loved playing with cousins and getting to meet new family members.  My boys just love to camp.
August 10th was Hudson's second birthday so we opened presents on his birthday and had a little family party for him the next day.
Mack had to go to school on Monday the 11th and Wednesday the 13th to get use to his Chinese Immersion class he will be taking.  He had to go from 12:30 until 3:00.  He seems excited to be in Chinese.  I am a little nervous about it.
Tuesday the 12th we went to Black Ridge Reservoir in Herriman with Cally and Katye and kids and Katye's friend and her kids.  It is awesome with beach sand and water to play in.  We went on Aug. 5th also and wanted to go back to show Cally.
Saturday August 16th we went out to Soap Stone by Kamas to camp for the day.  Grandma-pa Carter and Loveless's were already up there so we hauled the four wheelers and made a day of it.  Again my boys love to camp and ride the four wheelers.
Monday was a busy day getting ready for school.  Haircuts, shopping for socks and shoes, and last summer swimming in Provo with Tege.
Tuesday August 19th was the first day of school for Mack.  I can't believe he is in first grade.  What a morning.  Mack was up at 6 am ready to go by 6:30 and asking when it was time to go every 10 minutes and worried about being late.  Gunnar an hour after he was in school was asking when Mack would be home and Hudson and him were fighting all morning.
I am excited for Mack to go to school and also anxious as I want him to be influenced by me and not the world.   I know I can't control all that goes on I just don't want my kids to grow up.  This stage of life is really hard but I love that I am the most influence they have and can control things.
I am starting back to work this week.  Working Tuesday cleaning, Wednesday Volleyball, and Thursday cleaning again.  I will work Wednesday nights and Saturday afternoons.  I am also going to babysit again for a lady in the ward Monday and Friday mornings for a few hours.  
Where did the summer go?  Last week at the beginning of the week I was sad it was almost over but by the time the week was over I was ready to get back into a routine and done with my kids fighting all the time.  I think they are ready for a routine also.

Friday, August 1, 2014

Do I trust the Lord...Yet again I have to face this test of my faith

August 1st...Rock came home from work this morning and wants to try and go work somewhere else.  He doesn't know if Mega Diamond will hire him after putting in 90 days.  Here we had faith again that this job would work out and had faith that after 90 days he would get hired on and that we would have insurance for our family.  Yet again we do not know if that will happen.  I am tired of going from one job to another having hope and faith that all will work out only to get disappointed and my hope and faith scattered again.  Rock works hard and yet to no avail does it help us out at all.  Why can't something good happen for our family?  After so many prayers of gratitude for the job he has and so many prayers on behalf of our family and temple trips, fasting paying tithing, still going to church each week, serving the best in your calling, etc and to no avail it can be very disheartening and frustrating.  It really does test your faith in the Lord.   All we want to do is provide for our family.  I just don't understand the will of the Lord for our family?  I am striving to understand but I just don't understand.  What does he want for us.  We are striving to work hard.
I applied to be a Support Specialist again for Stake Institute and really had faith-again that this would work out and help our family out only to be disappointed yet again.  I don't know how many more disappointments I can take?

July...Where did it go?

I feel as though we are ending the summer even though we have a few more weeks of summer left.  Once we hit August back to school is on everyone's mind.  I have mixed emotions.  I am not ready for the crazy schedules that is about to happen with school and soccer games and practices and back to working more but I am also ready for the fighting and being bored days to be over also.  I like not having to be home at a certain time and no where to be, and yet I struggle to find some fun to keep my kids entertained.  I have to try and keep them quiet while rock sleeps and that mostly means leaving the house and finding something to do.
Melisa Todd came with us to the Natural Museum of Curiosity at Thanksgiving Point.  It was fun.  Good thing she came with us as my boys all wanted to go in different directions.  I noticed that Gunnar likes to build things.  He could have spent hours with the giant lego's building or at Water Works building bridges for the water.  Mack just goes from one activity to the next with no real focus.  
We took the boys to Lagoon on Tuesday July 29th.  Thanks to Rock's work.  WE left Hudson home and took Jex with us.  It was such a fun day.  Perfect cool weather and not too many people.  The only down part was the rain.  The rain got so bad at around 6pm that we had to leave and come home.  It was so nice to have a fun outing.
The boys have been grounded a Tylee.  She has been having a hard time with her bottles.  She is getting a stomach ache.  I love to cuddle with her.  I feel so bad for all that Lyndee and Steve have to deal with with Steve's ex and the kids.  Why are some people so so selfish?  It makes other's life miserable the choice they make that are so selfish.